Lazy Bug

Chalk it up to circumstances,or falling back into old habits, either way,I've been going through a severe procrastination funk. Its annoying as hell,because I want to continue working on my business and am REALLY overdue in my projects and that isn't like me at all. The current situation is only a scant part of it. Whats worse is,and it just occured to me now,its the same as whatever spiritually attached to me in Rochester hasn't had its fill. Yet,I also know that I can't totally blame that either. Whats pissing me off is that I am the cause of this. It just keep coming back,like pests. I beat this shit before and I know that I can again. What to do,however,to keep that motivation and keep that fire burning? I really don't know. Mayhap a cleansing and a change of habits is in order. Perhaps I am holding onto something in some form that I should let go of and is,in turn,blocking my flow. Whatever I choose to do, I will do it TODAY. Wish me luck!

In a moment of weakness

Before I lose my courage to write this,here goes *takes a deep breath* I am a hopeless romantic and I love the Idea of love and being in love. Neither are the same,yes,I know. Sometimes I hate that I am single. There was one Yule in particular that this emotion hit me the hardest. It wasn't easy,seeing families,seeing people with someone that really care about them,and it SHINES. I can't help but look and long for the day that happens to me. I have come to a conclusion, YOU. DON'T. EXIST. However, I refuse to stop believing in you. I trust very few. I refuse to lower my standards to just BE with someone for the sake of not being alone. I refuse to sacrifice myself and tear myself to pieces to please another. I will not cease myself to grow or put on a back burner while you reach greater heights...shelved to make someone look good. NO...FUCKIN'...WAY. I know that you are out there,looking for me as I am you,shoving your fear aside just as I and I know that its scary. I hope that when we do meet,we can see beyond the outside to the heart of the people we are. I am very loyal and protective of myself. I can be a tough nut to crack but once you do,you will have a person along side you unlike you've ever known. No,it won't be easy,haha. I can be very stubborn and not listen,highly opinionated and will fight for what I believe in. Yet, I,love to try new things,going outside and working out. There's so much more to me than I can type here. I will save the for day we connect.I hope that you are out there,looking at the same sky as I am. Here I am walking, the path to you. Meet you someday...