I Can't...

A few days before my recent entry,I came to a conclusion: I...CAN'T anymore....Gods,its like I have been living a lie. I've been beating a dead horse for how long now? One job,doesn't pay enough and treats its employees horribly,the other is the same,adding onto seeing others be praised for what I get mocked at for,never getting to be cross trained and never granted opportunities. I busted my ass for nearly fifteen years at one job, nearly eight at the other. I sacrificed practically ALL of my time to these 'jobs' and what do I have to show for it? A repossession (2015) and a eviction (2018). Yet,to those people it looked like I wasn't trying,yet you raise rent and my payments weren't on time. That is it. Not the fact that I didn't pay,but that I didn't pay ON TIME. Again,rent being raised and two low paying jobs are what caused the outcome I'm living in today. It has been rough,but I'm alright. I just have to quit this places. I've done all that I can at each,or all that they are willing for me to do. I've accepted it. It's time to move up and out. Once again,I find myself thinking about Dream BangChan (see previous entry) and I have to ask myself,"Are you ready?" I rather do what I love,than slave my time away,scrimping a few dollars. The next level awaits. This struggling shit has to end. I can't anymore.