Grit N Go

I have a confession. I have yet to audition and will begin tomorrow. Between all the work physically and mentally from having two jobs for eight years,I was (and still am to a large degree) always exhausted. I am scared to do things like returning to the gym, (which is also happening this week) due to the anxiety/panic attacks I have infrequently and the fear that accompanies it. I am tired of this riding my ass. Finances aren't looking as good at the moment,but that is what I am going to help myself with and delve deeper so I can come out on top. Some of the fear I have steams also from the bullshit Disney is putting us through. Screwing the cast and not giving us a livable wage,with overworking people and your cast living in motels or their cars. Yet they ask for supererrogation and bitch about a livable wage. Again, I realized the truth (the first time was quite some time ago and I didn't do a thing to change my circumstances) : this is a level one job. A VERY vicious cycle. One that repeats every few years and nothing gets done. Asking for more money and getting less crumbs each time. So,I am full steam ahead (even more so, now that I am down to one job.) with my business. I am going myself another five years and when the business gets to the point where I can leave nine to five life permanently,that is what I will do. This is a commitment to myself. I am too talented to continue to slip between the cracks and do nothing. We know how THAT has gone. Scratch that! I am better than this! I will do better and right by myself. Grind everyday. Level Two,fully engaged.