Pure PANIC...

Last week on Wednesday, I had an episode during work. I was doing the trash(avac) and I happened to lift several bags that were on the heavier side and my heart started racing,which is normal,when doing any sort of strenuous activity. I felt the weight of those heavier bags in my chest and was fine after completing that task. Then a few minutes later,I had a panic attack,unlike any other I experienced before,it was like watching my own body,separately, while still in my body. Weird explanation,I know. I couldn't control my heart,which had begun to race. Luckily I put in for a early release,so the manager let me leave early and my coworker who knows the situation drove me home. Thank Goodness the managers let her leave early to take me home. I was overly emotional,which I never am,and Iconcluded along with some of my coworkers,that it was a panic attack,which lasted about forty-five minutes. I haven't had one before,but Ithink feeling that weight in my chest triggered it to happen and made me think of the week before when I went to the hospital. I tried talking to my mom about it.after I settled down,but She did nothing more than make my anxiety creep up again. Certain things(which are A LOT in between this instance and others) That you can't discuss with her. Which is another entry for another day. I have had a dull aching sensation on the left side of my chest occuring every now and then. One day at a time and now a week after that episode I am doing well and taking it easy. I hope it was just a fluke,and I will rest more often,like calling out of work today,lol. My body needed it.

Level Two....

I had a dream with rivers and waterfalls,afew days ago,when I was trying visualization. It was so vivid,it felt like I was actually there. So, I believe another stronger version of visualization I have unlocked or maybe something else...which is TBD... Anywho,I will update you on that little gem after a few new sessions and see what develops. Lately,I Feel like level two has begun to PULL me in even farther. The dream I had confirmed it for me,along with present day issues. In my dream, I was at a skating rink,everyone going around in a circle, music blaring,overcrowded,not too many people enjoying themselves. There I am on the outside of the rink,by a door. Above the door it says Level Two, in red,cursive writing,flickering on and off. So I open the door and it's completely devoid of color,a long hallway in fact. Then a bunch of ideas about everything I want to do and need to do,just burst forward and I think to myself,"Man,I could do so much here!" So the door closes behind me and I can still hear the antics of Level One,but I am on the new playing field and have taken baby steps,still standing by the door. Level Two,it seems is a bit eager and honestly,so am I. I already have several ideas,it's time to get to work on my dreams and strengthen the foundation.